Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
