hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
When are your genitals available?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
