Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
