I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
