What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Enjoy the penises
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
