love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
