the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
