I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
