What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
