You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
