i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He did a backflip because drugs
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
