I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
