My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
