When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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