if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
