Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Randomize
