I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
