I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
A+ Viking dick
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