they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
