I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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