The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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