Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
