don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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