a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
