The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
