Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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