Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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