Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
