You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
