ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
