You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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