he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Ketchup is God's man juice
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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