Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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