I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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