Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
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