so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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