Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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