you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize