Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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