I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
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it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
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Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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