Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize