What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
