You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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