Is it because I queefed?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
