guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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