Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
