Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
