dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
