Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
