His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You smell like stripper and shame
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
