Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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