I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
