My balls are so social today.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
