i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
