You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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