Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
