In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
