i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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