to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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