i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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