I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
