he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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