okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
