its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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