my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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