You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
