Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
