we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
