p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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