why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
