only you would photoshop your dick
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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