my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
this is an emotional support booty call
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
